Winter Worship 2014

Winter worship went great tonight.

Click here to see the videos.  So sad I missed most of Little Drummer Boy. 

Great job guys!  Our music ministry is growing and changing!  I am excited to see where we end up next year at this time! 

My Very Favorites

These three along with their daddy are my very favorite people in the whole world.  

These two may just be my very favorite pictures I have ever taken of these three!  

I maybe loving morning light better than evening light!  Even though I am in no way a morning person!

I am so happy they love to be silly little kids!  I am painfully aware of how blessed we are.  

Thank you God for letting me be their Mommy! 

Merry Christmas!

I took pictures of my kids for our Christmas cards last Monday before school.  These are not the one's I am using for our Christmas card so I thought I would share them here.  

Boy they have gotten so big!  Caylea is 11 now and thinks she is all grown up.  Really she is growing up too fast.  She loves to cook and I really should let her do it more because I hate it.  She is already probably a better cook than I am!  She has also found a love for reading!  I hope it sticks but she loves the American Girl Doll books and the Dork Diaries (I bought her some for Christmas SHHH! Don't tell her!)  

Carolina just turned 9 and is still her spunky self.  She has that tender heart like her Aunt Brandy.  I love seeing it.  She is always thinking of others and loves to give to everyone she see's.  In fact we are making some bags to pass out to the homeless to keep in the van for when we see them.  We were just talking about it today.  With that tender heart comes the sensitive side.  I just pray for her to learn to control that.  I have her read her devotional or the bible when she gets fearful and afraid or starts crying about missing a loved one that has gone on to heaven.  She will do great things for others but I pray God can help me as I train her to protect her own heart also. 

Caden is 7.  Still my rowdy little man!  Oh boy how I love his sweetness.  He is still a cuddly little boy although one minute later you may just be getting wrestled with.  He just got his report card and my heart was so very proud when I read that his teacher put a plus next to eagerness to obey authority next to his character traits.  All of his grades were great also but that one little plus just made me so proud of him!  He has struggled with controlling himself.  There is a time to be a rowdy little boy and there is a time to sit in class and obey.  I am so thankful he is learning that he can control that.  We talked about how God wants him to control it and He will help him if  he would just ask.  I am so thankful for this little boy!  

I have been doing this blog since 2008.  They sure have came a long way.  We all have really.  I use to post a lot more often but then again I was a stay at home mom.  I was busy but I definitely had more time.  I miss those days and I miss my babies being little but I love who they are now.  We are really so blessed. 

Change

I am seriously no good with change not change of any kind.  I like my dogs to have the same routine, my children, my kids at school, my family.  When something is off, I am off, literally.  How I wish I was designed to better go with the flow.  One of the things I am learning about myself is that even when the change is a good change I hang on for dear life to the old way.  I know it makes no sense at all.  I despise chaos.  I like order and I feel most comfortable when things are flowing just the way they always have been.  I like to know what to expect and the history of it working out by the end.

I was on facebook the other day and saw this thing that talked about anxiety and seriously every single word was me.  I hate it.  I text a friend and said I would literally be a new person if I did not have anxiety.  We agreed to pray about it because God can heal that in me.  What makes one have anxiety?  I feel like I trust God.  How do I trust Him more.  I mean my heart could not be more thankful for each day I have.  I know where those days come from and who orchestrated each and everyone.  Since we lost Brandy that is one thing that has changed in me I am thankful for each day and for all those God put in my life.  I want them to know that everyday.  Because of the anxiety it can sometimes take some of that away.  For the most part God gives me the grace to help me make sure I can show people His love. Especially at church.  In Louisiana we were away from our family in a new state and the people at our church made sure we knew we were loved.  I just know that God wants me to do that for others now.  Some days God gives me the grace and somedays I am sure by my own doings I fail to receive it.

When we lost Brandy I felt I lost all of her.  When we moved back and I've been able to help with the kids so much I feel like I still get to spend time with a piece of her.  I've gotten to watch Caleb grow from a little baby to a very independent preschooler.  What a blessing!  Chris has a girlfriend that is no secret.  I've had a difficult time with this change.  It's not fair to anyone so I try to keep it to myself.  I want them all to be happy.  I just have problems with change and I feel like I am loosing the last little bit of Brandy I have.  Now I understand that this is just another step in life.  The next phase.  Do I hate Brandy is not here?  Yes every single day!  Not a day goes by I don't ache to talk to her or see her.  I wish things were different but God's plans are greater than my wants so all I can do now is trust Him with the kids and with my heart.  He will take care of them much better than anyone else and He can heal my heart.

I am happy for Chris and the kids I am quite certain Chris would not be with Brenda if it was not God's will for him to be.  So that means it is God's will for her to be in the kids life.  Does that always feel right?  Maybe not to me. . . yet.  However I am certain it will play out for God's glory and for all of their good.

I am so thankful for Praise and Worship.  Probably 2 months or so after Brandy passed a friend from our church there in Louisiana would send me songs.  Almost immediately even though I rarely left the house I would listen to those songs.  At first it was mostly Kari Jobe.  I feel in love with her music and her heart for God.  At that time in my life I had very few words even for God.  So I think the music really helped me to find and clear my heart.  I really think having that time at home alone at home, with Anthony working, and the kids in school before we moved back was God's desire for me just to sit, think, talk to and learn to love worshiping him through music in a way I had never done before.  There are still certain songs like Revelation song that just puts my heart in a state of worship.  I told Anthony the other day that it was really kinda mean of God to give me the heart to want to praise Him through song but absolutely no talent.  I guess though I would never get on a stage and sing anyways.  He has given me other talents . . .so I'll be thankful for that.  Anyways we are having a Winter Worship at church on December 19 at 7pm.  They have been working hard on it and I went to one practice (something I miss doing - I went in Louisiana a lot) it is going to be great!  I would like to invite all my family and friends to come if you are able!