Dear Brandy

Brandy

I am sure missing you sweet sister!  My world is just not the same without you.  This last Wednesday our church skyped with the missionaries they recently sent on the field.  I wanted to sit and watch.  However at one point when something was said before it started I just knew I was going to break down so I made my way to the dark empty sanctuary, found some tissues and knelled at the alter.  I begged God to take away my remaining anger, I am tired of feeling it and pushing it down.  I wanted to feel something else almost anything else.  I am not going to lie I had a rough time the next day and a half.  It didn't happen instantly.  It took time and prayer - thankfully I have a wonderful people in my life that I know I can count on to pray when I need.  This afternoon I was feeling better.  I know someday's are going to be easier than others, I know sometimes my heart will break in a moment.  However I also know this that you are happy, pain free and you finished what God sent you here to do.  Those things remind me what life is about!  I am thankful to finally have released the anger and allowed God to do His thing in my life.

I can not express how I feel about moving back to Oklahoma it's been so bitter sweet for me.  God has blessed us here.  Baptist Tabernacle has been just the loving place we needed.  I've been given space but I've been loved.  I know I haven't been easy or at times even approachable but they loved me through it. We are all going to miss this church!  Carolina got saved there last Sunday night (but I know you already know that!) I am really not ready to say goodbye to these wonderful people but I know time is coming quickly! Also the kids school is just wonderful I'm so comfortable sending them and knowing they are safe! You know me so you know that is no small feat. The kids all have wonderful amazing teachers!  That is the bitter the sweet is obvious! Family! Friends! Oklahoma!

You'd be so happy for us to be coming home probably the happiest of all!

I can not wait to help Chris with the kids.  I know you would want that.  Being with them makes me feel closest to you.  It is hard watching time go on knowing your missing it.  I have to remind myself your not really missing it that you have the best view of all!

I miss you each and everyday and love you more than I could express!

Your Zizzy!