Two Years

This is what I wrote on facebook the evening of September 11 this year.  

Spent the day with Amanda doing what sisters do adding in something to honor Brandy! When I think on it my heart still has a hard time comprehending what happened two years ago. It's an ache and shock I do not think will ever go away! I will never be the same but I'm thankful for Gods grace and peace! He loves me I'm fully aware of that! Today I'm blessed and thankful for the memories! My kids really wanted to go visit Auntie Brandy we've talked about it only being her body that is there and about how joyful she is dancing and worshiping our God! Thank you to all who prayed for our family today. We felt your love!

This year mixed with the fact that it was the anniversary and just a hard time there were some other factors playing into things that make me a little more emotional.  I am not going to share here on my blog.  I am trying to adjust and find the positive in the situation and just trust God because he is worthy of my trust!  It's just hard for me with so many factors and unknowns.  I am not good with change and I felt it's taken me two years to start to find my new normal and now I find myself taking a few steps back, taking a deep breath and putting all my trust in God.  So if you see staring off into space you might be catching me having a conversation with God.  We've been talking almost all of my free time the last few days.  Other things going on also that I have been needing to take to Him and just hadn't!  Nothing God can't handle!  Honestly He showed himself in a mighty way the first day I started asking Him!!! I am so thankful He loves me even in my sinfulness!!  I need God!  Every minute! Of every day!!!

I read a quote this morning someone posted on facebook. It has just stuck with me all day!  

"When someone dies, you don't get over your grief by FORGETTING, you get through your grief by REMEMBERING." -author unknown

I had to save this and upload it from facebook because I can not find it on my computer tonight.  This is my favorite picture of Brandy and I.  I think as much because it is a great picture as because of the great memories it holds for me.  I am so thankful Nancy is as much into pictures as I am she took it!  I have so many great memories of Brandy but our vacation has got to be one of my favorites! We were both busy with our kids and families but we still had plenty of sister time!  It was fabulous!  

A friend from church told me a quote she said that she read that reminded her of me and it is so much what I think even though I had never put it into words.   " If you don't have pictures.....it never happened! "

I know that that is not 100% true!  However it is kinda how I operate!  

Well that is about all I have for tonight!  I am blessed and thankful!  God's presence is very real in my life I honestly have total peace that everything is going to work out if I remember to breath, step back, keep my heart open and talk to God in all situations!